An Open Letter to My Body

Dear Crapeas Corpus,

Now is not the time to get sick, nor is it ever, if I can help it. I can’t have diarrhea and take care of two kids. I can’t have a headache and feel like walking death, either. Please cease and desist. Ain’t nobody got time fo’ this.

You must lay down until Daddy J has to mow the lawn, which is a one or two hour affair. Then it’s time to clean the nurseries. That laundry won’t sort itself, either. Time to get better and get it in gear.

Let’s do it to it!


The Brain


Top 10 Tips for Keeping Toddlers Safe in the home




1. Kid Safety in the Kitchen
Toddlers gravitate to the kitchen; after all, that’s where families spend much of their time. Cook on the back burners and turn pot handles away so they aren’t in reach. Drink hot beverages out of spill-proof and unbreakable travel mugs to avoid burns. Never leave dangling cords; unplug items when not in use and store, and those that are used, keep cords wraped tightly with a twist tie. Store cleaning fluids in locked cabinet out of sight and temptation. Don’t allow access into pantry.
2. Kid Safety in the Bathroom
For safety and to avoid expensive plumber calls, keep the toilet lid down and locked when not in use. It’s a good idea to limit access to the bathroom with a safety gate or lock, if practical. There is too much temptation. Never leave medications around; keep locked and out of reach. Also…

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Mama J’s Travel Tips For Two Under 2/Two Little Ones (LOs)

Some trips are more necessary than others, and some special occasions require that you haul your small fries on short notice. Here’s how I roll when I travel:

Mama J’s Essentials (Like a boss!)

1. Wipes. If it’s in the Mama J bag, it’s the Huggies travel-sized variety. Less is more, and compact storage is in demand.
2. Diapers/training pants/underwear for PT toddlers. Keep the greatest amount in your big diaper bag, and then replenish your quick trips bag (QTB) as you go.
3. Extra clothes, all types. Pack an outfit for warm weather for each child, then include pants and sweatshirts for easy layering. In winter, choose only tee shirts and long sleeve tees/hoodies for this, since your go-to bottoms will be pants. This way, you can strip your kid down indoors. Remove winter coats immediately upon entering buildings. Keep gloves/mittens in coat pockets or diaper bag (DB) compartments. Socks for all seasons.
4. Small snacks. Use sandwich bags and plastic storage containers. Use sippy cups or sports bottles for toddlers.
5. Small toys. Mini board books, Fisher-Price electronic books, rattles for infants, tug toys, rattle/teether combos, etc. When else fails, sing songs, use your smartphone, or just be silly.
6. Pacifiers for “binky babies”. Pacifier keepers if you are outdoors.
7. A small bottle of travel head-to-toe J&J body wash and lotion.
8. Travel diaper rash cream. I like Desitin or Boudreaux’s Butt Paste.
9. Orajel. ‘Nuff said.
10. Bibs and eating utensils. Vital Baby makes a nice bowl with a lid and insert for a spoon, which is great for babies. Wash it out and use a fork, and it will work for toddlers.
11. Baby food in sandwich bags, so it doesn’t leak.
12. Sunblock.
13. Insect repellent for children 6 months and older if you will be at a park or other outdoor venue for a long period of time. Skintastic is great.
14. Baby food jars and toddler food. Gerber or Beech Nut squeeze packs work well. Beech Nut Steamies are great for toddlers.


New Perspective

This is true for moms, too! Well said. 🙂


Well this weekend gave me a whole new prospective on things. It is something that I have not done enough of and that is “hard work”. Hard work is something that I am going to have to do in order to change my life. It doesn’t matter if it is for me or if it is for someone else. I have to put in more hard work. As a man and as a father it is up to me to provide for my children. In order to do this I have to come out of my shell and do the things I stopped doing. Meeting new people. Thinking positive. Most importantly having a plan. It doesn’t sound like much to someone else, but it is alot for me. I stopped being apart of things because of people. People will hurt you and you will never see it comeing. These people…

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Ow! Waaaaaaaaaah!


We went to my in-laws’ annual family reunion with the kids yesterday. We stayed for two hours, then went home. A1 took a nap, and then all hell broke loose.

She was quivering and burning hot when she woke up. She took three blankets to bed, which didn’t help. Daddy J was the one to rouse her and alert me.

I immediately put her in the tub and sat behind her. We played bible songs (VBS) for her. She kept shivering and saying “Ow!” Daddy J suggested we give her a bottle. I told him it would be better to give her water or Pedialyte. She drinks 12 ounces, and then projectile vomits into the water. This is not my idea of a milk bath.

Calgon, take me away. Please.
He takes her out, and I quickly wash my legs. My MIL comes over with food from the reunion, and we tell her about A1’s condition. Oh, and did I mention Daddy J hurt his back building supports for a shelf in the basement? Fabulous.
Anyway, we gave her Tylenol to help with the pain, and take her rectal temp. 103.4. Something is wrong.

I left the baby with them to buy Pedialyte and Pediasure. I return, and then give her the Pedialyte. I take her temp again, and it’s 99.7. She is back to her normal self, but every time she pees, she screams “OW!” and cries.

I called the pediatrician, and they want us to come today at 2 pm. I hope I don’t get the physician’s assistant. I hate them. Their theoretical diagnoses piss me off. I want to see the doctor. I want facts.

A2 is still teething and screaming every time she cannot creep forward, the chubby little thing.

Now I need to take A1’s temperature again. It’s all for the best.

—Image taken from somethingturquoisewedding.com