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Diapers suck.

I’ve been changing diapers for two and half years, perhaps not as long as some; however, when you wake up to a toddler’s pee soaked sheet and pajamas every day, you get sick of it real quick.

Let’s also mention that I change a nine month old’s diaper all day long. My other favorite task is emptying out diaper pails Fucking Disgusting!

The difference between today and yesterday is both kids peed through their clothing and A1 chose to grab her bath crayons off the dresser, scribbling all over a white sheet…that I just changed yesterday. Thanks a lot, small fry.

You may have seen from previous entries that my attempts to potty train her weren’t successful. She never stays on the toilet. She runs around bottomless and pees on the floor.

You can also factor in an infant who won’t freaking sleep train at all.

48 hours of suck.

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#$%*ing Toilet Humor

I agree…we shouldn’t be writing profanity in toilets. After all, it will wash away. 😉

Stuff Kids Write

When Tara’s stepdaughter was seven, she wrote about how the world needed to change.

SKW Toilet Graffiti

Translation: “I would really like to change the world. I think we should put more trees and more water, and there is too much dirt, too. Stop writing ‘fuck’ in toilets. Thank you.”

We couldn’t agree more.

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Thanks to Tara of Love from Tarafor the awesome submission. If you have something funny that your child or someone else’s kid wrote, please send a picture of it to mcfadden(dot)chase(at)gmail(dot)com or leanneshirtliffe(at)gmail(dot)com.

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Bee! Bee!

Toddlers are hilarious. The things they say when they figure out the concept of stringing words together is out of this world. Yesterday, the As and I were in A2’s room for a diaper change. A1 had pulled one of her Abby Cadabby books off the shelf.

“Mom-my,” she said in her cute little voice, “Abby eats bluebebbies.” I laughed. “She does?” I said, impressed. “I had no idea.” She is still working on her ‘r’ sounds, so it comes out as ‘b’ or ‘w’.

Also, every insect (or arachnid, since there are plenty of spiders crawling around) is a bee. Flies freak her out. M has a fit every time she sees anything of the order Insecta, and now A1 is imitating her. In fact, when SIL J was pregnant with her, she had a similar fit when a bee came near her. Overreactions run deep, I guess.

Daddy J is part of the chain gang for our local high school’s football team. Parking is usually insane, and the As are too little to sit through that, so I haven’t taken them yet. I decided to send him a photo of A1. Usually, she says “Cheese!”. Not today. A stealthy house fly just had to be in the kitchen. Thank you, family Lepidoptera for gracing us with your presence.

“BEE! BEE!” My toddler screamed. Damn flies, I thought. She also thinks that pieces of “bluebebby” in her yogurt are ‘bees’ if she has just seen one. Here’s some photographic evidence:

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You best “bee” solvin’ this problem for me, Mommy!

She had eaten most of it at that point, so the last few bites were refused after bee time. Thankfully, all the flies are gone now.

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Watch Out for That Toy!

My brother and I had plenty of toys when we were kids. In fact, I enjoy going on eBay and browsing through the 80s and 90s toys that shaped my childhood. According to my mother, my grandparents would say (jokingly, of course) that it looked like a toy store. I wonder what they would say about my house.

We could open a toy store—yesterday.

I’m glad the kids have plenty of toys, and I’m grateful they’ve been giving so many as gifts. Sure, organizing them is a challenge, but at least they’re having fun. One tough part? Trying not to step on things in bare feet.

Being barefoot is a way of life for me. When I was a baby, I kicked off booties (according to my mom), and my feet were always hot. I’m 25% Sicilian, so I’ve inherited the hot, Italian feet. Thanks, Dad.

I have yet to step on Legos as an adult. I stepped on them a couple of times in the past, and the memes are pretty accurate. It is one painful experience.

A1 puts a sea of toys on the floor. It can become an obstacle course. Yesterday, it was a bedtime ABC book that poked me in the foot. Those are some razor sharp corners! She also loves to sort and build, which is great. Then she grabs our shoes, wears them, and leaves them in the middle of the kitchen. If you read my entry about breaking my arm, you know I’m afraid of trip hazards, perhaps more so than the next mom (or so it seems).

I carry A2 and make an effort to avoid the toy maze on the ground. It’s hard work, but I enjoy playing with the toys when I’m at ground level.

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To my 50 Special Followers!

Wow. I’ve had a rough week, and between the latest episode of Daniel Tiger and seeing “You have 50 follows” on this blog, I’ve been teary-eyed. Thank you so much for being here. I love my life, but I do get lonely sometimes. I also have to thank my neighbors, K and M for their support this week and anytime at all. I love you guys!

Cheers to you, my friends!! Be blessed.

~Mama J

“Do something nice for your neighbor; do something nice for your friends.”–Daniel Tiger, episode 131, “Neighbor Day.”

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Motorin’

You were probably thinking about this…

You’re close.

A2 sure can’t drive, but she definitely makes up for that on four limbs. For the first time in my parenthood, I’ve had a child under a year old follow me to the next room. In fact, she is approaching the phone as I type this to steal it.

She’s been stopped midway by a teether. Score! 🙂

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Can I be on your blog too, mama?

When I enter the kitchen or the hall, I am followed by a series of cute giggles and squeals. I turn around, and there she is!

I love this age!