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The World According to A1: Elmo Gets A Sex Change

So, another morning begins in the A house. A2 is already awake, fed, and sitting in her Exersaucer. I venture into A1’s room and greet a groggy A1, who makes to make sure (as is custom) her blanket and litany of select stuffed animals make it out of the crib.

I change her soggy Pull-Up, and she points to her private area. “Lady parts”, she says. “Yes, those are your lady parts,” I replied. As I changed her, she picked up her stuffed Elmo.

Elmo has lady parts, too.

I laughed, perhaps a little too hard. “Mommy laughing?” She said, incredulous. I told her I was laughing with her, not at her, and that Elmo
is a boy with boys’ private parts.

She wasn’t convinced. “Elmo has lady parts, too.”

I decided to redirect her. “Abby (Cadabby) is a girl. She has lady parts.”

“Abby! Where’s Abby?”

Abby, unfortunately, is buried under some toys in our PnP. Ain’t nobody got time for that, but Elmo’s got time for lady parts.

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Back in the Saddle

And I hoping I don’t want to kill myself in the process.

We have started potty training again. It’s unfortunate that I already have severe anxiety all the time as it is, so it’s hard for me to stay calm all the freaking time. I’m not sure how neurotypicals do it, but as challenging as it is for everybody, today I feel like it’s worse for me.

There are a few things out there I wish I could see more about, and others I wish I’d never heard.

Why is it that every potty training article is either written by a woman with one child or one with six kids? One has it way easier than me, and the other makes me feel like a stupid novice. Must be nice , I say to myself.

A1 has all the signs, has peed, but is a stubborn pain in the ass. She flips out as soon as I ask her if she has to go. She told Daddy J she would let him know if she has to go. We’ll see about that. I feel like she gravitates to Daddy, because he’s the “calm” one. This is good, I guess. She won’t even talk to me right now, and I didn’t even yell at her or anything. I guess I’m not the potty escort candidate.

I made a potty chart with stickers. She doesn’t even seem motivated. She refuses to pee. I’d use food as a reward, but eating is another battle. She watches Go Fish and all this other crap on YouTube, and that doesn’t work.

I know, everyone will tell me, “Well, you just have to find something that works.” Thanks. I know. Right now, nothing works, and if I could actually find an article written by a mother with a two and a half year old and an eleven month old who is potty training the older child, that would be great.