New Digs For Old Martyrs

I’ve been doing some thinking (when haven’t I?) about this whole SAHM thing. No, I’m not going back to work right now (the kids would have no sitter). I keep going back to something my mom told me not too long ago.

As I’ve mentioned before, my mom was also a SAHM. She stayed home with my brother and I for 12 years (I was nine). In a couple of conversations, she mentioned another relative (name and title withheld) who “couldn’t spend time with her kids without doing her makeup and putting contacts in.”

I say, “Why the hell not?”

Supposedly, said relative left her children in their play pen all the time, and never held them. My mother claims this woman is selfish. I think it’s a bunch of crap, because it’s a necessity to do some of these things.

If you are a veteran mom, or a grandmother, do not say this to a new mom: “You won’t have time for anything. You won’t even have time to shower.” Bullshiiiiiiiiiiit.

For the love of Christ, make time to shower. Do it. You will feel human again. I have gone four days before without showering until I finally said, Enough of this crap.

Do things because you want to do them. Because you deserve it. We all have to be a little selfish sometimes. You give everything you have to your children. You sacrifice your time, your breaks, food, sex (sometimes), and your career. Why the hell should you give up your self-esteem and self-worth? That is stupid. The idea of doing this is just stupid. You deserve so much better than this.

The other grand thing I’m trying to do is (I’m not as malleable as I sound) is say no. No, MIL, I am not going to take A1 to have her get a haircut because you and SIL think her bangs are uneven. Besides, her bangs were fine (even if I cut them myself!), and I’d rather spend time doing more meaningful things, like playing with the kids and teaching them valuable skills.

Single people aren’t the only ones who work on themselves. “I’m doing me.” Yes, SAHMs try to “do” themselves (don’t get derogatory on me, now).

I have decided I am done feeling depressed. I have a life to live. I have kids who need their mother and an example of me dressing and acting as fabulous as I did in my 20s.

I went to Kohl’s and spent $28 on two tank tips (for layering) and a jewelry set. I dressed up because I can. Who says I still have to work outside the home? I wasn’t employed as a college student. I still wore sparkly Aero tee shirts (this hasn’t changed!), and one winter, a fur coat (my girly pimp outfit).

Why be someone you’re not or try to fit in? Why worry about whether or not someone likes you? Who cares if this person is only related to you by a piece of paper (marriage license)? They’ll never change their negative, shitty ways, and you’ll never change. You will always be better than them. They’ll be stuck gossiping about everyone while you’re busy accomplishing other things. So, screw it, and screw them.

Here’s a message for everyone! Stay in this place, and say this to others who try to invade it!



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